


i don't miss you at all

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Not Epilogue Compliant, you're probably here from tiktok lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:08:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24877459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Ten years after the war, Draco Malfoy reflects on his past relationship with Harry Potter.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 13
Kudos: 29





	i don't miss you at all

**Author's Note:**

> song lyrics are on the right side, thoughts and memories are on the left.

The war ended exactly ten years ago, along with his relationship with the boy who was supposed to stay with him forever. But promises don't always last, and Draco Malfoy knows this better than anyone. 

_i swear i don't_

_miss you at all_

(past - sixth year, hogwarts grounds, 12:30 p.m.)

Harry laughs, the type of laugh that can quell a storm and light up a room in the mere span of a second. "You climbed a tree in fourth year, just to impress me?"

_(It's worth it, fighting a war,_ Draco decides, _if it means that he could hear his laugh every day when it's all over)_

Draco huffs to conceal his slight smile. "Don't be ridiculous, it wasn't a big deal." Harry's smiles really are contagious, he needs to stop spending so much time around the Golden Boy, he notes vaguely. But then again, who is he to deny Harry anything? 

"So it IS true!" Harry exclaims, earning him a slight shove on the shoulder. "You were enamored with me back since . . . fourth year? Wow, that's got to be like, what, two years? Draco, you've liked me for two years?" 

"Harry, how do you even know what 'enamored' means?" Draco raises an eyebrow. "I suppose it's just a side effect of spending so much time with the most eloquent person in school?" 

"Please, I only date you for your kisses. Nothing more," he retorts, leaning his head on his boyfriend's shoulder, the unruly black hair tickling his collarbones. 

They're sitting near the Great Lake, taking in the last few rays of sunlight before the winter season sets in, and Draco thinks that Harry has never looked more beautiful, laughing without a care in the world, the sun illuminating his sculpted cheekbones and bringing out his brilliant green eyes. 

_(As if they could get any greener, but Harry always finds a way to shatter everyone's expectations anyways)_

Draco barely even realizes that he's staring at him, unconsciously but _desperately_ drinking in every detail of the scene that surrounds him. After all, he's Draco Malfoy, and deep down, he'll always know that his timer is counting down. 

"Longer," he breathes, barely audible. 

"Hm?" Harry threads their fingers together, temporarily confused, until he remembers Draco's answering his earlier question. "Then how long?" 

_(If Draco's being honest with himself, he truly doesn't know)_

"Maybe always." 

_and i barely still remember_

_who's in the pictures on my wall_

(present - draco's _(and once harry's)_ apartment, 3:27 p.m.)

Draco thumbs through the photo album Harry insisted on keeping. 

_("For when you forget me," he had said._

_"Don't be ridiculous, Harry, you'll be with me forever. You promised, and besides, there's no way out."_

_"But what if-"_

_"No.")_

_As if I would- as if I could- ever forget you_

He flips through the pictures, eyes landing on a photo they'd taken at Slughorn's Christmas party. He'd rather hated the event; he much preferred the galas organized by his family, but Harry had asked him to come, _and who was he to say no?_

It still sends a pang through his heart despite having seen the photo every single day for ten years. A small part of him knows he'll never move on despite his best efforts, so he slips the photograph out of its sleeve and sets the book on his desk. As an afterthought, he drops the rest of the album in the "donations/recycle" box. 

_I'm glad you're trying,_ the voice inside his head whispers. 

_all but forgotten_

_  
about those eyes_

_  
the shade of green, that if he'd seen, would make f. scott fitzgerald cry_

(past - fourth year, hospital wing: post-triwizard tournament, 4:32 a.m.)

They're in the hospital wing, Harry clutching Draco so tightly it hurts. "Why do you even like me? It's like I can't do anything right," and in that moment, Harry looks completely and utterly broken. 

Draco lets go and sits back, pretending to be exasperated. "Harry-"

"Humor me." 

_(If he'd tried to list all the reasons why, he knows they'd be in there for decades, perhaps even centuries.)_

Draco settles for humor. "Certainly not your charming or witty personality," he says drily, earning him a weak smile in response. 

"Then?" 

He pretends to think, but as he meets his eyes, he falters, their intense emerald stare easily piercing his own steel-greys, and he understands how important this is to Harry. 

"Because-" _Because I love you_ , the voice in his head says. _But you're too much of a coward to tell him that, aren't you?_ "Because you're kind," Draco finishes lamely, wondering not for the first time why Harry picked _him_. 

They hear footsteps coming from the other side of the door, and Draco gladly seizes the opportunity to take his leave- they have, after all, decided to keep their relationship a secret. Unable to make eye contact, he practically runs to the exit. As he turns the handle, he looks back, trying to convey everything in his eyes.

_You deserve someone so much better._

_but i won't_

_break down at two a.m. and call_

_'cause i don't_ _miss you at all_

(past - sixth year, slytherin dormitory, 2:30 a.m.) 

"Still awake?" comes Harry's gravelly, sleep-ridden voice from just inches away. "You really should get some sleep, we have a Potions test tomorrow."

When Draco doesn't answer, Harry starts to sit up, voice laced with concern. "Is it the nightmares?" 

"No, I have you," he replies softly, and Harry wraps his arms around him.

Draco wonders what he did in his past life to deserve him. 

_but i only dream about you_

_once or twice a night at most_

(present - draco's bedroom, 2:30 a.m.)

It's been sixteen years since the nightmares first started, but every night, he still routinely suffers. 

_Only this time, when he turns, there's nobody to hold him_

_but I think our song is comin' on_

_and now i wanna crash the car_

(past - the summer after sixth year - june 4th, a grassy field, 8:59 p.m.)

"It's not much, but I thought you'd like it," Harry scratches the back of his neck sheepishly. Draco sends him a questioning look. "See, I figured with your birthday tomorrow and everything, I wouldn't have a chance to see you since your parents would probably arrange something . . ." He trails off. "Anyways, I wanted to take you stargazing at least once, so you could show me where your constellation was."

"Tha-" Draco's voice breaks, and he doesn't trust himself to finish the sentence, so he settles instead for wrapping his arms around Harry's warm torso, and he knows he understands. 

They lay staring up at the sky, the only sounds coming from the occasional owl and their own whispers, so soft as to not break the spell they've so carefully woven over the moment. 

"Draco, have you ever danced before?" 

"I'm sorry, what-" he starts, but Harry's already pulling him to his feet and flicking his wand towards a Muggle radio he's brought along. He chooses a soft, piano piece, and moments later, they're gently swaying, Draco resting his head gently on Harry's shoulder. 

They both know, the unspoken fact hanging between them, that this is one of the last moments they'll ever get together. And they plan to savor every minute. 

_and someday I won't_

_miss you at all_

(unknown time, unknown place)

 _"Harry, my heart always was yours."_

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed this!! based off of finneas's song with the same title as the fic <3


End file.
